Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize
