you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
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