You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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