I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
