Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
