Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
well you can't waste a boner
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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