R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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