ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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