we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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