After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
