I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
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