You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
