I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
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