My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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