My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
