Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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