and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Randomize