my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
