her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
