You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
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