I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
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