things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Randomize
