Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
you inspire me to be a worse person
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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