I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize
