My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
