I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
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