i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize