Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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