can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I love having hate sex.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
