Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
