OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
