Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
