My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
