He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Randomize
