So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
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she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
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I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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