So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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