yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize