...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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