Can Purell be used as lube?
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
