the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Randomize
