Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
