He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
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