i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize