They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
