I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
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