no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
