My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
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I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
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I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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