I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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