The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
