I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize