Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
