At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Randomize
