she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Randomize