That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Randomize
