garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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