THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
