I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
