38 yer olds are good kisserssss
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
i drank out of a bidet.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
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