$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
