it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Randomize
