So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Randomize