Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
