Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
